Posted in Finding Inspiration

Finding Inspiration #11

I am sitting in front of my laptop looking for words to write. The balcony door is open, it has been open for some time now. I sat and watched the lights go off of the nearby areas. There is pitch blackness outside. The change in weather brings in continuous fresh and comfortable breeze inside which rustles the pages of the Sunday Express.
My bed is a mess- there are books, pens, wires, creams, clothes, food and everything else scattered around. My mind is in a similar condition. I am trying to do everything correctly but somehow nothing is falling in place.
I remember as a child while playing with my friends I was never the first one to spot a dandelion. It was after the one flying around was found and butchered by every one that I would try to look for another one in the proximity to play with or wish at. I never succeeded in finding one for myself, at times I would find one attached to the plant and I would forcibly pluck it.
Even as a child I knew I was aimlessly looking for something that I would never find. Those few minutes of running around trying to find expectantly a dandelion that I had full faith would never appear feels like what I am doing right now.  Running aimlessly looking for something (I do not know what) which I  know I will never get.
Someone I know was talking to me about the 2012 end of the world prediction and said that they would not mind if the world were actually to come to an end.
This would make them stop running and realise that whatever they thought mattered all there lives holds no meaning. I never thought I would be among the ones who need to stop running to realise that I am at the moment doing nothing meaningful. My unnecessary philosophical banter makes no difference even in my life because in all I am as clueless as ever looking for answers in places I would not visit otherwise.I can only do this much and hope to catch a dandelion before my friends do. Until then, I will continue to sit in front of my laptop and look for words to write…


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