I am staring at the blank screen of the laptop, trying to find something to write about from the images in my mind. I am surprised at how easily I have switched to keyboard and monitor kind of writing. I remember a time when I had to pen down my thoughts on a piece of paper and then type them on the computer. That is from a time when I was a school girl.
This one memory that always comes to my mind of that time is of my backyard at my house in Jabalpur. The sun is shining and there is a guava tree that I can see which didn’t bear fruits for the four years we stayed there. I am sitting on the swing set with my dog Snow. It is winter, the sun is warm and pleasant and not harsh. I have washed my hair because of which the left side of my top is wet and there is smell of yellow Sunsilk around me. The dampness of my clothes makes me shiver time and again. Oscar, my dog who died in 2012, is digging the earth out of the marigold bushes.
It is lunch time, and Mumma will call me inside to have dal, rice, soyabean and chapati. I will sit in my usual spot, the head of the family. The windows in front of the dining table allow me to have a view of the golden sun on the guava trees. And I am happy.
I am in 10th, I have my whole life figured out. I am going to get good marks in the board examination and take up Science and Mathematics in the +2 level. I will send forward jokes to my friend after lunch and sit in the garden and learn history. I might go to my best friend’s house the next day and go for a walk with her, or listen to music, or just talk about how great a gift we are to society.
In the evening I will play with Snow and Oscar and maybe my friends will come so we might play badminton. At night I will snuggle in my bed, switch on the night light, put on my head phones tune in the radio to listen to Radio Mirchi, and sleep reading a book that I issued from the Universal library.
I go back to this place all the time, and I long to go back there physically. What is in it I don’t know? There is something so soothing in this 10 second flash of memory that my heart expands in my chest. I hope that some other day I feel exactly what I felt then.
Until then I will continue to go through images in my mind trying to look for something to write about…