I am sitting in front of the laptop trying to look for words to write. I am in Bhopal, with my family. The wind is howling and the windows bang against each other noisily- this is the only sound. Everything else is quite here. The clacking of my keyboard and Snow’s breathing are my only companion. The infection in my right eye does not allow me to see the screen clearly and I scrunch my eyes shut time and again to ease the irritation.
Coming back home made me realise, how unhealthy the two months had made me. With dark bags under the eye to inflammation of lymph nodes, my body in addition to my mind demanded a break from Delhi. In my two days at Bhopal, I have stuffed myself with enough food to last a week. The first meal that I had at home, had my heart expanding at every bite I took. Such was the happiness.
I have been longing for this, this feeling of home. Shutting myself from the rest of the world again seemed like a good idea to enjoy the experience of home even more. I want to ask, exactly when will my parents smile and presence stop being comforting? No matter what I did, this peace that I have at the moment, I could not achieve, it is them and them alone responsible for the smile on my face, the skip in my step and the assertiveness in my voice.
I thought myself to be stupid when I used to cry every time when I left the house, for three years in a row while my other friends had no problem. But, I cannot seem to grow up so much ever that I can comfortably leave my home.
This last year away from my home and busy in so many things has made me appreciate this feeling even more.
I plan to spend the rest of my days at home lying on the ground just looking at the blue sky, not caring about a thing in the world.
The wind moves the curtains and rustles the branches of the trees outside, bringing with it smell of wet mud. A smile escapes my lips as I sit in front of my laptop looking for words to write…