I am sitting in front of my laptop trying to find words to write. Having slept in the evening sleep evades me now and my head throbs from thinking too much. One of my professors once told me that I have good analytical skills. It is not a very happy skill to have I can say now, since I end up analysing everything. Why is there not a button to shut the mind off? Even in my dreams I now have full fledged conversation with people about things I don’t want to think about or comment on.
It isn’t like there is something that I am avoiding, it is just that the things around me at the moment are not important neither comforting and I don’t want to think about them. Picking up unnecessary fights has been my forte, however the effort seems too futile these days. I still question people’s motives and affection but on an elevated level and alone in my mind. Am I speaking too much? Am I putting off people with my presence? These thoughts are so prominent in my mind, which were and should not be a concern.
Listening to a song on repeat that my friend sent me I cannot believe when the singer croons “all things go, all things go,”. This feeling doesn’t and it has been there for a long time now.
There is another feeling I have today- to read Harry Potter. I want to read about magic and believe in it. I want to worry about whether Harry would escape Voldemort or not? I want to be excited about Divination lectures. I want to visit the Hogwarts grounds. Today I want to cry at Snape’s death. Today I only want to care about J K Rowling’s universe- it is a nice place.
I do not have a copy of the Harry Potter books with me at the moment, but I will arrange one until then I will sit in front of my laptop and try to find words to write…