I am again staring at the blank screen of my computer, trying to think of words to write. I am also hoping that I find a comfortable position on the sofa along with the numerous magazines, newspapers diaries and pens that I have not touched the entire day.
A day well spent? I don’t know, but a day well slept. After spending 12 hours at work on the week days and 16 hours on the bed on weekends, the first days of my New Year went by without my realising that the date had changed from 2nd January to 9th.
I have been waiting for the weekend since the week started, though I do not know what to make of it now that it is here. I felt I slight panic while walking home on Friday on realising that I did not have any thing to do the next day. I was too busy (trying to be?) over the week to message my friends that I was in the city and maybe we should meet, because that was the only thing on my mind when I went home in December. There were messages that arrived that I couldn’t reply to. Why? I don’t know, I could not look for the right words. Thanks to the blue ticks, the people knew that I was reading them. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t.
Today, I decided to take a walk, and also withdraw money on the way. I was alone, I walked to a nearby ATM it was out of order, so I walked towards the ATM which was at a 10 minute walking distance from my place. Putting my head phones and walking silently in the hustle bustle of the streets, I saw a lot of things but registered none. The lyrics of the songs were making no sense. I mechanically withdrew the money and walked back. As the distance between me and my house closed I typed apologies to my friends and promised to call back.
Reaching back home, I realised that I had got a shoe bite because of my new shoes. At least my mind felt clear and light-er.
If only all the problems and weird feelings could go away after taking a walk. Until then I will continue to stare at my blank screen and try to find words to type…
procrastinatingtanya 