I am sitting in front of my laptop trying to think of words to write, the hot winds have forced me to shut my balcony door. The sound of the rustle of the leaves and the freshness of the breeze are not my companion anymore.
My fingers are typing furiously, but no other part of my body is in the mood to move. I do not want to stretch my hands to pick up the bottle of water lying next to me- my parched throat seems like a better option. Similarly, a mosquito or two comes and buzzes something in my year I will not however switch on the ‘all out’.
I am sleepy but I cannot sleep. Things that happened over the past week flash in front of my eyes. I think the reason I do not like watching television is because of the continuous television going on in my mind.
Questions which make no sense spring up in my mind time to time. Why did I cry today after being the happiest person on this earth two days back?
All that glitters is not gold, one of the few things my mother told me, why does even after learning and knowing everything, the sparkle of things attract me? Why do I end up making a fool of myself like children do- however they are unabashed by it I on the other hand not so much.
I wonder if there will ever be a day, when I am satisfied with everything that happens. Someone once told me to be satisfied is to kill ambition, then I think what is ambition? My ambition I thought was to be the most intelligent person in this universe, then I thought that I should become the richest in this world, but after living away from my family, my trees and my self for long, I know now that my ambition is to be the happiest.
To have days where my stomach hurts from laughing too much. To have my loved ones around me all the time. To sit under the gulmohar tree and listen to the sound of the birds chirping in the garden. To hug my dog and read my favourite book. To be happy and be content. But, I know for now I cannot do any of this so I will continue to sit in front of my laptop and look for words to write…